ontologically | [Etraya] IC Inbox

[ They did it.

That's the first thing Krouse thinks when he reads what Amy has to say about Teacher. They did it, and what gets him about it is the slippery, disorienting lurch of that they coming in the form of the collective inclusive.

Logically, he knows that it's right. In the future he hasn't lived out, he's with Teacher until he dies. He knew that, so he knows that he contributed to the overall plan, part of the conduit that kept Teacher connected to Saint. A negligible role, in the larger scheme of things.

It's not responsibility he's feeling. It's a tiny flicker of obedient satisfaction, and he recoils from it like he reached out in the dark and sank his fingers into a swollen, hot patch of rot.

It almost makes talking about Cauldron, and what he knows about Cauldron, slightly more appealing by contrast. ]

I was still in Brockton Bay when the Triumvirate got found out.

They clamped it down fast, but word travelled faster. I picked up enough of the high notes to say I couldn't agree with you more.

[ Unlike the topic of Teacher, his feelings here are uncomplicated. He fucking hates them too. There are enough obvious reasons anyone should that he doesn't have to get into the specifics of his personal ones. ]

All those noble heroes, worse than most of the Birdcage. Fucking Lab Rat did less human experimentation.

[No mention of it. So Teacher must have been planning it for a long time then.

Irritating, but she's not quite enough of a dick to hold it against Krouse. Billions of people dead and for what.]

Lab Rat also helped more than they did against Scion.

[Not quite true. But Lab Rat is a big reason why Taylor Hebert survived long enough to become Khepri - something which Cauldron had absolutely nothing to do with.]

That was their supposed end goal. Preparing humanity to fight against Scion at the end. Eidolon was vaporized, Legend did nothing, Alexandria's corpse was being puppeted around like a doll, and the rest of them hid in a bunker.

[She decides not to bring up the Endbringers. She's not sure why. Trickster and his Travellers were there when they fought against Leviathan - when Neil and Eric both died. Maybe the fact that America's most famous and iconic heroes were responsible for all of that death and devastation makes the ugly feeling in her chest intensify.

Her childhood was spent in guilt and shame over failing to live up to that very standard. That very standard that the greatest heroes humanity had to offer never even touched. Her fucking dad was locked away in a cage never to be let out - while they all got to fly free and condemning millions to die.]

[ Krouse types Good in the text entry window and lets it float there, one stark word hanging in his field of vision. He deletes it with a blink.

Amy's cynical, but there's a line somewhere. He doesn't want today to be when he discovers the limits of her newfound distaste for the world's greatest heroes. He pushes off the floor and walks into his bedroom to sit on the edge of his mattress, fingers resting on his end table next to the only picture frame in his apartment.

"Eidolon's dead," he says, to no one who's going to hear it. ]

So much for the greater good.

[ That's not surprising, except for the corpse puppeteering, but even that's just another fucked up detail. Later, when he thinks through the pieces she's giving him, he thinks he'll be able to put together a reasonable idea of how it must have happened.

He's just not doing it yet. For once, he doesn't have to. It hasn't happened yet, and it's already over. And if he thinks about it like that, he might as well get one small thing over with. While they're sharing. ]

I know I die.

I don't know if you knew that. It's not like you'd have a reason to. I doubt anyone was keeping track. But if you did, I thought I might let you know you don't have to sidestep it.

It's fine. I'm over it. Bound to happen sooner or later. Just seemed awkward leaving it up in the air.

[Oh.

Did she know? The death toll was so big, so full of people she'd met in passing and then never thought about again - that she thinks it might have just slipped her mind.

Prior to all this, he was someone she met in indirect association with a group of people that she resented. 'Can you grow us wings?'

Billions of people died. Most of her old classmates, her aunt. Taylor Hebert.

And somehow that's the one she's stuck on.]

I didn't.

I wasn't on the front lines. But the death toll was massive.

I guess Tattletale told you.

She did.

I don't think she was lying about that one.

[ He doesn't have any proof, one way or another, except that he doesn't see a reason for her not to be honest when it comes to trying to clip off whatever remaining slivers of hope she seems to think he might dare entertaining.

The fact she got it slightly wrong clinches it. If she understood him as well as she acts like she does, she'd have told him he survived, numb and empty and enthralled.

She can't take away a future he already didn't have. ]

Everyone dies someday. I'd rather not dwell on it.

She also mentioned the two of you had prior world saving experience. That, I thought she was stretching. Guess not.

[Amy remembers the truth that Victoria didn't tell her about her own future. That everything will get worse and that she'll get worse.

Is it shitty of her to think she kind of wishes she could have just gotten the 'You die' reveal? Rather than the gut churning agony of uncertainty about whatever it is that happened?

Obviously.]

That's one way to put it.

Makes it sound like she's a lot more cooperative than she actually is.

[ There's probably something funny about how quickly he slips back into practicals in the middle of dealing with life (for whatever it's worth) altering information. Plenty of practice, he supposes.

It's easier, anyway. He spares a moment of gratitude to Amy for being willing to let his situation go, even if he can't imagine she has much else to say about it. People she actually knew and possibly even liked died. Not a lot of space to fit in some acquaintance in the ranks.

But she's still not trying to, and he still appreciates it. ]

Triangulation. It's a classic.

I did piss her off. On purpose, this time. So if anything goes off on that front, that's why.

I'm still holding up my side of the agreement. I can't say if she will, but I got the impression she knows she needs you enough to not deliberately fuck you over while she fucks me over. But who fucking knows.

She won't blow your cover.

["Was never under the impression that it should be yours either."

There are a lot of heroes around. Some of them live up to every ideal the Protectorate pretended to value.

God, she sucks.]

She just wants you to think she will.

She can cooperate when the situation calls for it but she hates it when she's not in control.

You know her better than I do.

[ He has his own opinions about Tattletale's sense of 'when the situation calls for it', but those are the breaks. Amy has to work with Tattletale regardless of how trustworthy she is, and it's easier if you convince yourself that the snake you're handling follows a set of rules you can learn. ]

That's my problem, anyway. Just wanted to keep you in the loop.

Now I think I'm going to go stare at the ceiling for a while.

[She feels a cold chill run down her spine at that first sentence.]

God. I really hope I don't.

Thanks, though.

I'll talk to you later.

[ That's an interesting stance. It's also not one he wants to dig into. Just something to keep in mind. ]

Talk to you later.

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